Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Where did all the good band names go?

OK, so music's been around a long time, and there have always been poor band names. The Beatles, for example, is a pun that soon wears pretty thin if you stop to think about it, and which many people didn't even realise was a pun and just put down to bad spelling. And The The would never make it as a band name today since it's pretty un-Googleable (see also A, and more recently following a telecoms merger, Everything Everything. But surely there must be some good names still to be had? Apparently not, if the selection of bands I've listed below are anything to go by. All of these acts are playing South by South West (SXSW) in Austin, Texas this year, a festival which is (or was until it was hijacked by the mass corporate hordes from Samsung to Doritos) designed to showcase up and coming new acts.If I was there this year I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be setting foot in front of any stage where this bunch of misnamed muppets were playing.

  1. Perfect Pussy. Scientifically proven to be the shittest band name ever thought up.
  2. The Front Bottoms. Mildly amusing, once, if you're a 13 year-old boy.
  3. Big Tits. See description for number 2.
  4. Cool Piss. Piss is not cool, either literally or metaphorically.
  5. Great Good Fine OK. Make your mind up, which one is it?
  6. Kraak & Smaak. It's not big and it's not clever.
  7. Diarrhea Planet. Apart from being a terrible name, that's not even how you spell it.
  8. DJ Hella Yella. I could've had a whole list devoted to DJ names, but this is the pick of the bunch.
  9. Ynfynyt Scroll. How are you even supposed to pronounce that? If it's Infinity then spell it like that dumbass.
  10. bEEdEEgEE. Lower case / Upper case nonsense.

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